Stories, comedy, comics, essays, and stuff

Archive

  • The Lithium of ExperienceThe Lithium of ExperienceThe Lithium of ExperienceThe Lithium of Experience

    The Lithium of Experience

    Mortality is measured in increments of lowered expectations.

  • I watch people dieI watch people dieI watch people dieI watch people die

    I watch people die

    Does watching another human die make you a bad person?

  • How Not To Learn JapaneseHow Not To Learn JapaneseHow Not To Learn JapaneseHow Not To Learn Japanese

    How Not To Learn Japanese

    Efficacy is the enemy.

  • Too SoonToo SoonToo SoonToo Soon

    Too Soon

    No, your shitty joke wasn't too soon. It just wasn't funny.

  • My Court Case in TokyoMy Court Case in TokyoMy Court Case in TokyoMy Court Case in Tokyo

    My Court Case in Tokyo

    That time I sued some companies in Tokyo

  • The Divine Right of Black PantherThe Divine Right of Black PantherThe Divine Right of Black PantherThe Divine Right of Black Panther

    The Divine Right of Black Panther

    The movie was cool and all, but fuck monarchies

  • CryptocurrenciesCryptocurrenciesCryptocurrenciesCryptocurrencies

    Cryptocurrencies

    So you want in on cryptocurrencies?

  • MasturbationMasturbationMasturbationMasturbation

    Masturbation

    Not doing it won't make you one with the universe.

  • Making Women Have SexMaking Women Have SexMaking Women Have SexMaking Women Have Sex

    Making Women Have Sex

    The male myth that sex was their achievement.

  • How I Could Vote For TrumpHow I Could Vote For TrumpHow I Could Vote For TrumpHow I Could Vote For Trump

    How I Could Vote For Trump

    I kind of hate the left these days.

  • Discovery and Race and TropesDiscovery and Race and TropesDiscovery and Race and TropesDiscovery and Race and Tropes

    Discovery and Race and Tropes

    Star Trek is still addicted to progressive racism.

  • BitcoinBitcoinBitcoinBitcoin

    Bitcoin

    All you need to know about Bitcoin without any new words to confuse you.

  • Wonder WomanWonder WomanWonder WomanWonder Woman

    Wonder Woman

    I like feminism when it's sexy.

  • High HeelsHigh HeelsHigh HeelsHigh Heels

    High Heels

    Do I fetishize high heels as much as I feel I do?

  • I Hate This FeelingI Hate This FeelingI Hate This FeelingI Hate This Feeling

    I Hate This Feeling

    I turn into a misogynist every time a hot chick walks into the room.

  • She Cries BeautifullyShe Cries BeautifullyShe Cries BeautifullyShe Cries Beautifully

    She Cries Beautifully

    What I'm thinking when I stop talking in the middle of a fight.

  • Standup Game of Thrones and Rape CultureStandup Game of Thrones and Rape CultureStandup Game of Thrones and Rape CultureStandup Game of Thrones and Rape Culture

    Standup Game of Thrones and Rape Culture

    Another reason why so many jokes about rape fail.

  • Following the angelsFollowing the angelsFollowing the angelsFollowing the angels

    Following the angels

    My very specific and personal reasons for moving to Tokyo.

  • Halfway deadHalfway deadHalfway deadHalfway dead

    Halfway dead

    I think I fucked up my life.

  • The dating puddleThe dating puddleThe dating puddleThe dating puddle

    The dating puddle

    Things I've learned about dating twenty years too late.

  • SparkSparkSparkSpark

    Spark

    A story about artificial intelligence, love, and authenticity.

  • MariMariMariMari

    Mari

    My hack zombie apocalypse novel. Fuck it, it was fun to write. I hope you have fun reading it.

  • I eat my lonelinessI eat my lonelinessI eat my lonelinessI eat my loneliness

    I eat my loneliness

    What's a blog for if not to be embarrassingly revealing?

  • Who his daughter datesWho his daughter datesWho his daughter datesWho his daughter dates

    Who his daughter dates

    Based on a real and random conversation with a guy about his daughter and age and dating and stuff.

  • The Charisma Man RealityThe Charisma Man RealityThe Charisma Man RealityThe Charisma Man Reality

    The Charisma Man Reality

    A little comic strip companion to the previous posting. The reality of guys who come to Japan expecting to capitalize on the gaijin fetish.

  • The Charisma Man MythThe Charisma Man MythThe Charisma Man MythThe Charisma Man Myth

    The Charisma Man Myth

    The reality, racism, and human failings that are built into the notion that Japanese women go for gaijin guys.

  • Transmission to an exTransmission to an exTransmission to an exTransmission to an ex

    Transmission to an ex

    Stuff I'd say to an ex girlfriend if I were going to say them. You'd probably only want to read this if you like reading random things out of other people's diaries. Which I do, but it's not for everyone.

  • Running from my problemsRunning from my problemsRunning from my problemsRunning from my problems

    Running from my problems

    I don't work out for my ego, I do it for my id.

  • Assumed OrgasmsAssumed OrgasmsAssumed OrgasmsAssumed Orgasms

    Assumed Orgasms

    Men faking orgasms and why one night stands aren't for me.

  • How Many Women is EnoughHow Many Women is EnoughHow Many Women is EnoughHow Many Women is Enough

    How Many Women is Enough

    Like everything else, it's more about my fear of dying than my pursuit of sex.

  • Fury RoadFury RoadFury RoadFury Road

    Fury Road

    A satire script I put together just for the fun of it.

  • ymiaftymiaftymiaftymiaft

    ymiaft

    My book about how I think humour is processed in the human brain.

  • Yellow RosesYellow RosesYellow RosesYellow Roses

    Yellow Roses

    That time I realized I was being a stalker.

  • Santa and paedophilesSanta and paedophilesSanta and paedophilesSanta and paedophiles

    Santa and paedophiles

    That time I was on stage in front of a couple hundred paedophiles.

  • At the BankAt the BankAt the BankAt the Bank

    At the Bank

    More diary-of-sorts about being Japan as a comic. This one is about negotiations. Or something. I don't know.

  • Your GirlYour GirlYour GirlYour Girl

    Your Girl

    A story about building the perfect relationship.

  • Like A VirginLike A VirginLike A VirginLike A Virgin

    Like A Virgin

    Madonna, and how some laughter can stop you becoming funny.

  • The existential angst of a gang bangThe existential angst of a gang bangThe existential angst of a gang bangThe existential angst of a gang bang

    The existential angst of a gang bang

    I would definitely be having more sex if I thought less.

  • MizumushiMizumushiMizumushiMizumushi

    Mizumushi

    A very typical moment when living in Japan, at least for me.

  • They Were ComingThey Were ComingThey Were ComingThey Were Coming

    They Were Coming

    A story about choices in an absence of information. And aliens.

  • Boxes labelled dangerousBoxes labelled dangerousBoxes labelled dangerousBoxes labelled dangerous

    Boxes labelled dangerous

    I'm learning more about how to break up with people, which might be solving the wrong problem.

  • MergeMergeMergeMerge

    Merge

    Remember the term 'cyberspace'? No one seems to use it anymore. Anyway, this is a story set in cyberspace.

  • Shiro Kuma KunShiro Kuma KunShiro Kuma KunShiro Kuma Kun

    Shiro Kuma Kun

    A day in the life of a polar bear living in Tokyo. A pilot of a web series that didn't get picked up.

  • Sentenced to LiveSentenced to LiveSentenced to LiveSentenced to Live

    Sentenced to Live

    A science fiction story about immortality and prison.

  • Gordon at the ConbiniGordon at the ConbiniGordon at the ConbiniGordon at the Conbini

    Gordon at the Conbini

    One of the comics that I did about life in Japan, this time in Japanese, because there was a time I actually wanted to do things in Japanese.

  • He Awoke From the Dead for the 13th TimeHe Awoke From the Dead for the 13th TimeHe Awoke From the Dead for the 13th TimeHe Awoke From the Dead for the 13th Time

    He Awoke From the Dead for the 13th Time

    Probably the most hippy story I've ever written.

  • Why Self PublishWhy Self PublishWhy Self PublishWhy Self Publish

    Why Self Publish

    I've written a book called 'Your Mind is a Funny Thing', and while I'd like you to check that out, this blog entry is just some offhand notes about the decision to self publish.

  • NaritaNaritaNaritaNarita

    Narita

    Another comic about life in Japan. This time, an encounter at Narita airport.

  • Not an AtheistNot an AtheistNot an AtheistNot an Atheist

    Not an Atheist

    Does being an atheist mean one has to be a dick about it?

  • A Bar FightA Bar FightA Bar FightA Bar Fight

    A Bar Fight

    Another episode in a comic diary of life in Japan, with a story that comes from comedian Cory Jarvis.

  • TranscriptTranscriptTranscriptTranscript

    Transcript

    A short story about death, immortality, and continuity of being.

  • Wow - You Live in JapanWow - You Live in JapanWow - You Live in JapanWow - You Live in Japan

    Wow - You Live in Japan

    A short two panel comic about the Japan people think I live in.

  • SexyismSexyismSexyismSexyism

    Sexyism

    How to draw hot babes and not be sexist. According to my mom.

  • ConsciousnessConsciousnessConsciousnessConsciousness

    Consciousness

    A short story. I think stories are best without contextualizing preamble, so, check it out if you feel like reading a thing. Or don't. It's short, I'll tell you that much.

  • Tama ChanTama ChanTama ChanTama Chan

    Tama Chan

    There was a time I considered doing a comic about my experience in Japan. I decided it wasn't worth it, but I did about seven or so, and I'm going to put them online just so the effort isn't wasted. This first comic is probably the most dysfunctional, referencing issues that no longer matter and events no one remembers.

  • Lessons from LouisLessons from LouisLessons from LouisLessons from Louis

    Lessons from Louis

    What Louis CK does that aspiring comedians should emulate.

  • Tears of an OrkanTears of an OrkanTears of an OrkanTears of an Orkan

    Tears of an Orkan

    A great comedian, and a common comedy myth.

  • Galapagos ComedyGalapagos ComedyGalapagos ComedyGalapagos Comedy

    Galapagos Comedy

    What exactly is 'Japanese comedy'?

  • Volunteering in TohokuVolunteering in TohokuVolunteering in TohokuVolunteering in Tohoku

    Volunteering in Tohoku

    A diary of heading up to volunteer in the areas hit by the earthquake and tsunami of 2011.

  • LactoseLactoseLactoseLactose

    Lactose

    What I learned when I asked why Japanese people generally have no trouble consuming milk products.

  • A Material DifferenceA Material DifferenceA Material DifferenceA Material Difference

    A Material Difference

    How having more time on stage won't make you a better comedian.

  • Johnny the Infinitesimal SpeckJohnny the Infinitesimal SpeckJohnny the Infinitesimal SpeckJohnny the Infinitesimal Speck

    Johnny the Infinitesimal Speck

    Adventures in the 2nd dimension!

  • The Feeling You Choose To FeedThe Feeling You Choose To FeedThe Feeling You Choose To FeedThe Feeling You Choose To Feed

    The Feeling You Choose To Feed

    What if you never had to say goodbye, no matter what?

  • The Family In JapanThe Family In JapanThe Family In JapanThe Family In Japan

    The Family In Japan

    A whole new way to abuse children. Deny them the language of their home country.

  • What it feels like to be 40What it feels like to be 40What it feels like to be 40What it feels like to be 40

    What it feels like to be 40

    Is being 40 the same thing now as it was in the past?

  • But I Got LaughsBut I Got LaughsBut I Got LaughsBut I Got Laughs

    But I Got Laughs

    The dividing laugh between a real comedian and just someone on stage being sometimes funny is determined by going beyond mere randomness.

  • Star Wars - Force and StateStar Wars - Force and StateStar Wars - Force and StateStar Wars - Force and State

    Star Wars - Force and State

    The real history of Luke's rise to power over his thousand year Reich.

  • The Science Of Hitting On WomenThe Science Of Hitting On WomenThe Science Of Hitting On WomenThe Science Of Hitting On Women

    The Science Of Hitting On Women

    Sold as a science, bought as groundless hope.

  • Respecting the StageRespecting the StageRespecting the StageRespecting the Stage

    Respecting the Stage

    This should be really obvious, but for some reason it isn't. For some reason, lots of performers go on stage asking for the audience's time without respecting its value.

  • Falling Off The EdgeFalling Off The EdgeFalling Off The EdgeFalling Off The Edge

    Falling Off The Edge

    What I wish every open mike comedian knew before getting on stage. Especially the ones who aspire to be 'edgy'.

  • The Walking Dead - The Metacontextual EditionThe Walking Dead - The Metacontextual EditionThe Walking Dead - The Metacontextual EditionThe Walking Dead - The Metacontextual Edition

    The Walking Dead - The Metacontextual Edition

    RAWR!

  • March 11th And AfterMarch 11th And AfterMarch 11th And AfterMarch 11th And After

    March 11th And After

    What it was like in Tokyo after the earthquake in 2011

  • WikirelationshipsWikirelationshipsWikirelationshipsWikirelationships

    Wikirelationships

    There's a difference between private and secret.

  • Anti-virus Software is a ScamAnti-virus Software is a ScamAnti-virus Software is a ScamAnti-virus Software is a Scam

    Anti-virus Software is a Scam

    Whenever you install new software it asks you to over ride it anyway.

  • Why Facebook Wants To Sell You OutWhy Facebook Wants To Sell You OutWhy Facebook Wants To Sell You OutWhy Facebook Wants To Sell You Out

    Why Facebook Wants To Sell You Out

    This article doesn't match the situation now, but it was true when I wrote it.

  • Plus MarketingPlus MarketingPlus MarketingPlus Marketing

    Plus Marketing

    How to get rich by selling nothing.

  • The Vampires Have WonThe Vampires Have WonThe Vampires Have WonThe Vampires Have Won

    The Vampires Have Won

    A useful metaphor dies, but then refuses to lie still, instead carrying on as a harmful meme.

  • At Night When Death WhispersAt Night When Death WhispersAt Night When Death WhispersAt Night When Death Whispers

    At Night When Death Whispers

    When I realized I was supposed to be afraid of death, living with it became easier.

  • Avatar - The Metacontextual EditionAvatar - The Metacontextual EditionAvatar - The Metacontextual EditionAvatar - The Metacontextual Edition

    Avatar - The Metacontextual Edition

    A satire script about a movie that should have had a script.

  • Adam Smith Wasn't A CapitalistAdam Smith Wasn't A CapitalistAdam Smith Wasn't A CapitalistAdam Smith Wasn't A Capitalist

    Adam Smith Wasn't A Capitalist

    If Adam Smith wrote less about coins, he might be more known for what he thought sucks about capitalism.

  • Mind If I StinkMind If I StinkMind If I StinkMind If I Stink

    Mind If I Stink

    How is smoking even still a thing?

  • Open Letter to the Parents in StarbucksOpen Letter to the Parents in StarbucksOpen Letter to the Parents in StarbucksOpen Letter to the Parents in Starbucks

    Open Letter to the Parents in Starbucks

    Home is the locker room, Starbucks is the field.

  • Evidence of the InvisibleEvidence of the InvisibleEvidence of the InvisibleEvidence of the Invisible

    Evidence of the Invisible

    If it can't be described, is it supernatural, or just something we don't have a word for?

  • Lucid DreamingLucid DreamingLucid DreamingLucid Dreaming

    Lucid Dreaming

    Seems like a cool thing to do, but, actually... meh.

  • Mystical BigotryMystical BigotryMystical BigotryMystical Bigotry

    Mystical Bigotry

    How is it anymore right to categorize people into 12 months than categorize them by half a dozen skin tones?

  • SEO Is A ScamSEO Is A ScamSEO Is A ScamSEO Is A Scam

    SEO Is A Scam

    Selling you the fantasy that somehow your product is popular but your website isn't.

  • Windows Is Free For BusinessWindows Is Free For BusinessWindows Is Free For BusinessWindows Is Free For Business

    Windows Is Free For Business

    Beating the point to death, with a final essay on the myth that business is somehow above software piracy.

  • No Really - Windows Is FreeNo Really - Windows Is FreeNo Really - Windows Is FreeNo Really - Windows Is Free

    No Really - Windows Is Free

    Answering some questions people had about my premise that software piracy is an asset to large software providers.

  • Windows Is FreeWindows Is FreeWindows Is FreeWindows Is Free

    Windows Is Free

    How software piracy keeps Microsoft in business.

Books I've written

My Instagram

These days I'm using Instagram to post my sketches. Also sometimes if something random and amusing happens.

My Twitter

I put up a tweet whenever I update my blog, and I also cross post my drawings from Instagram.